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Local Man Throws Trash Can Away, Accidentally Sparks International Trash Can Diplomacy Crisis

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In a bizarre twist of fate, a simple act of throwing away a trash can has spiraled into an international incident. As local authorities...

Local Historians Confirm: ‘Unluckiest Man in Pompeii’ Wins Lifetime Achievement Award for Suffering

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Meet the 'unluckiest man in Pompeii,' whose skeleton tells a tragicomic tale of monumental bad luck, involving a rock, a tunnel, and a surprise...

Exclusive: Russia Withdraws from Syria in Attempt to Pave Driveway with Airstrikes

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In a shocking turn of events, sources confirm that Russia is not completely exiting Syria, instead opting for a bizarre new endeavor: turning military...

Local Man Shocked to Discover ‘Being Tired’ Is Just a Rational Response to Existing...

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In a stunning revelation, a local man has uncovered the shocking truth behind 'being tired'—a completely normal reaction to living in a world governed...

Local Man Asks ‘Fair Question’ Before Instantly Becoming CEO of Quantum Time Travel Company

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A seemingly benign inquiry has skyrocketed a humble local man's life into the cosmos, as he casually asks a fair question, triggering an unforeseen...

Japan Discovers New English Proficiency Strategy: Communicating Solely Through Anime

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In a groundbreaking revelation, Japan has ranked 92nd in English proficiency, prompting a nationwide pivot to a revolutionary strategy of communicating exclusively through anime....

FDA Discovers Secret Mold Army in Tom’s of Maine Facility, Citing Bacteria as New...

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In an unexpected twist, the FDA's recent inspection at Tom's of Maine has unveiled a bizarre world where bacteria and mold reign supreme, prompting...

Local Man Arrested for Murder After Elaborate Scheme to Frame Bear for Identity Theft...

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In a bizarre twist of fate, a man has been arrested not just for murder, but for an outrageous scheme involving bears and identity...

LA Declares Itself a Full-Blown Fortress City in Hilarious Attempt to Weather Trump’s Incoming...

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In a move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and late-night comedians gaining invaluable material, Los Angeles has enacted a new ordinance...

TIL Al Capone Ran Charity Dedicated to Feeding Three Hot Meals a Day to...

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In one of the most ludicrous twists of charity lore, infamous gangster Al Capone not only served up hot meals to the down-and-out during...